The Boys. My Family.

The Celebration

In the midst of gloom, I tried to do things to cheer myself up.

We had a small tea time gathering for Lucas' full month, and had close friends come visit. We had, till then, largely declined visitors in the first month due to my medical condition.

It didn't happen without added stress of planning. Looking back, though, I am glad to have organized it. It was good to break away from the monotony of breast-feeding and hang out with some friends for a bit. A simple get-together, and a reminder that there exist a wonderful reason for celebration.

Darling Lucas, one month old

The Month After

The month post-delivery has been tough and a real challenge. We thought lightning wouldn't strike twice but it did. I was plagued with the same pee problem, marginally more manageable this time, but still problematic nonetheless. I had urine detention. Unable to pee, I had the catheter on twice, which completely killed me emotionally and physically. It hurt when I moved, it was messy when I breast-fed, it stopped me from moving freely when I carried Lucas, it was dreadful when I sat or laid down. I hated it.

The pain affected breast milk supply since it was hard to have a letdown. I told myself, chill - you've been through this before. But it was a mental struggle every time. I wanted to succeed with total breast-feeding.

Between dealing with my post-delivery complication, maintaining a punishing schedule to up my milk supply, being sleep deprived, and trying to be the super mom for Matthew as well, I fell into some sort of emotional yo-yo.

Then Lucas developed an abscess under his armpit, which had to be removed by a pediatric surgeon, so it was in and out of hospital 3 times for him. The procedure was painful for him as he was too young to have any form of anesthetic applied to him when the abscess was cut in order that the pus could be drained out.

I was in a mess. I was a mess.

Glad to have moved on and put the whole drama behind.