Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I've Come This Far

This month heralds many moments of significance.

My blog is one-year old!

I never thought I'd be able to sustain for long writing a blog. I wonder who reads my blog. I know hubs is a faithful follower.

I've come to enjoy it as a great way for me to rant, and to pen down significant happenings, particularly related to the little one. Hopefully, it will allow me to re-read and still bring myself to hug Matt some time further down the road when he does things that make me royally pissed off.

My driving license is "active" for a year!

I became more kiasi as I grew older. I remember being somewhat a daredevil when I first obtained my license in my late teens, in fact, even before I got my license. I drove dear daddy's prized car around the estate and had no fear! But more than a decade along, I have only fear when we could finally afford our own car. What more with a baby in tow, I became even more chicken shit . But under the No Choice Act, I took to the wheels this month last year, and am now proud and happy to say that I am glad I can go places with Matt without needing to rely on hubs or my FIL or the uncles-of-largely-blue-sometimes-yellow-or-red-cars anymore. It's totally liberating!

Survived a year being a part-time employee, and an over-time-under-paid SAHM

I still think that part-time work arrangement works out best for me, although of recent, I have been thinking about how this job has almost zero prospect and self-development potential. I wonder if I should return to the workforce full-time, since the banks are, apparently, hiring agressively. Plus Matt should be school-going in the next half year or so.

I think and I think and I think.

Well, thinking is one thing, the inertia to return to work full-time is seriously serious. Lets see what happens this year ...

Monday, February 22, 2010

Bringing Meaning to CNY: Visiting the Less Fortunate; Respecting the Elderly

It was Day 8 of CNY, and some colleagues in hub's office organised a party for the Adventist Home for the Elders. I was not exactly keen on going, having to deal with the maid, still thinking about my lost iPhone, and still feeling bad from causing Matt's vomiting the night before. But I wanted to get out of my self-pity mood, although I thought seeing the less fortunate might make me brood even more.

And I wondered if Matt might make the old folks feel even worse, I mean, they might think of their own sad plight, how they have no close family members to celebrate with them.

I packed and went anyway. And I am so glad we did.

The set-up was simple, chairs arranged in a big circle in a void deck. When we arrived, they were having a lo hei.

Matt said xin nian kuai le to hub's colleagues, then found more happiness running about outside the party. I was busy watching over him, then hubs came out with the most brilliant idea to involve Matt - make him bring plates of food and serve the elderly.



Each time that he served, he illicited a warm smile.

And it warmed our hearts that our little kiddo managed to bring a smile to a few old folks in the way that only he can.

CNY wasn't Happening

Reunion dinner was really fine, first day celebrations were great. Trip home to M'sia was really good.

It went downhill from there.

We only managed to stay in M'sia for one full day. Which is s.h.o.r.t by my standards. But hubs has got a lot at work, so we had to do what we had to do - leave. I cried when I left - unbelievable - given how long I have been away, and how old I am now. But I really miss my parents and everyone back in M'sia.

Then the next day, my iPhone was stolen! The one I received for Christmas from dear hubs. I was shopping at Mothercare, placed the phone absent-mindedly on the shelf while I examined underwear for Matt, realised I forgot it after I paid for my goods, rushed back and it was gone! 10 minutes! When we called using my hub's phone and it was turned off, my heart just sank.

Then on Saturday, we brought Matt out for dinner at a Japanese restaurant and we ordered gyu-don for him. He started off well, but as we went along our dinner, he seemed uncomfortable, but being the little soldier that he is, he still smiled and giggled. All seemed well.

Until we were in the car. Matt vomited his entire dinner out.

The culprit? Eggs. In particular, egg white.

This is the third time he has vomited after consuming eggs since he started solids. The first 2 times, I was not 100% sure - maybe there were other factors. But the dinner that night affirmed it. There were no other possible reasons.

At home, I gave Matt some cornflakes. He ate it happily. I sorted out the mess in the car.

Just before bedtime, Matt asked for milk, but I wasn't sure if I should give him. But the poor little hungry boy chanted "milk" repeatedly, so I did. And within minutes, he threw up again. I should've heeded my instincts!! Urgh! Poor boy!

He finally went to bed after more cornflakes, some cheerios and water.

Felt so so so bad that night.

The thing is, I kept having these disturbing feeling while I was feeding him, but largely ignored it.

Mother's instincts are amazing, and I sometimes wonder why I do not heed those nagging feelings more often.

They say that Hope looks up. So I am hoping for a better end to CNY, and a far better year ahead after a somewhat sucky start!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Chinese New Year

I was kinda looking forward to Chinese New Year in January. Christmas was about thanksgiving. Chinese New Year is about renewal. And some serious cleaning. For weeks now, whenever I had some time, I spring-cleaned.

When we moved into our current home 2 years ago, I was 8 months pregnant with Matt, hence, never did any meaningful unpacking. Hubs, being a man, unpacked "as is." Everything went into the cupboards. Unorganized trash. Out of sight, out of mind. I occasionally thought about it, but did not have the luxury of time or energy to deal with them. Until last month. We did some minor reno at home for the much needed storage, and it was great opportunity to chuck, chuck, and chuck!

I also managed some time to buy meself, hubs and Matt some new clothes. My mother-in-law bought me a pomelo and nian gao. She ordered some famous bak gwa. I bought some goodies here and there. I changed new notes to pack ang pow. It seems we are quite set for a good Chinese New Year.

Until last Sunday. My new helper completely dampened my mood. After weeks of training, I was happy that she was improving. Matt was 50% warming up to her. Then, she promptly announced "I give up, ma'am. I want to go back Philippines." What the f#*&!! She said she misses her kids. She said things are easier back home. She said she "cannot care Matthew." Perhaps I have been overly fierce and stern with her? So I tried to talk to her, even apologized for those moments of anger. But the more I talked, the more inconsistent her reasons became.

My agent and I grilled her, and finally came to the conclusion - she is lazy. Missing her kids was an excuse. Although I am certain she does miss them. We concluded so because she didn't mind being transfered to another family without young children, and not any other types of family.

To cut the long story short, I decided to let her transfer (hubs thinks I am too nice to even let her transfer) and I will look for new helper. But the thought of choosing another one, to wake up at 530 to train her daily, to get Matt to get used to a new helper - SUPER SIAN aaahh!

Having said that, once I decided on the course of action, I was sort of happier. The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. 2 days from Chinese New Year, I am slowly trying to get into the mood again. A piece of bak gwa may just do the trick.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Little Things 4

He loves his bedtime milk. One day, while he was busy playing, we put Bob the Builder where he usually drinks his milk, and Bob hugs his milk bottle. We playfully said "Look Matt, Bob is drinking milk!" He looks up, look so pained I felt so bad! He just sat there, on the verge of bursting. BUT he did not snatch it back from Bob, or throw or hit Bob. Almost in tears that Bob took his favourite milk, he looked at me pleadingly to help him. Awwww! My little boy is such a sweet angel!

Still, he'd hug his Bob. Bob is the only soft toy he'd hug. Not Stitch. Not the gorilla.

He wakes up sleepy every morning. He blinks and blinks. I pull open the curtain slowly to let the sunlight stream in. Irritated, he commands "mama off the light"

"Du wan sleep!"
He always puts up some form of protest when it's nap time or bed time. He has taken this to another level lately. He buys time, by pooping just before nap time. He forces with all his might so he gets to escape his bedroom to the bathroom. At night, with no poo, he will say "I pan-sai" then grins.

Whenever he hurts himself, whether a gentle hit or a major fall, it's always "mama put lotion!"

Matt loves spinning round and round and round. Then he staggers from the dizziness, walks sideways, and chuckles hard to himself. When he falls down from all that dizziness, he laughs even harder!

He likes playing ring around the rosies but when it's time to fall, he just stands there, watches everyone fall to the floor, then he laughs and runs away.

Matt can't pronounce his 'l' yet.
"Matt, say hallelujah!"
"Ha-ye-yu-yah!" then a big smile. I just wanna pinch his cheeks when he says that!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I Look Aged

Yesterday, I entertained a certain Mr M, who demonstrated a kick-ass almost $4k vacuum cleaner.

Some small talk, then he was cleaning my mattress.

I saw him looking at our wedding portraits on the wall, then at me. Then at the wedding portraits again.

Mr M: Wah! Your son only 2 ahr? How long ago were you married?
Me: 4 years ago I think. WHY?
M: I mean, how old were you when you were married? (maybe sensing the sales going down the drain after that indirect criticism)
Me: Late 20s. Yeah, I have aged since ... maybe you want to tell me more about your (stupid) machine?

So. I got my and Matt's mattresses cleaned for free. But I did not buy the machine.

Not because I was insulted.

Okay, I was insulted.

But I didn't buy it because it was almost $4k. For a vacuum cleaner. I could live with some germs. But that is not the point of this blog.

But it got me thinking about how I look.

After he left, I stared at my reflection in the mirror for quite some time. That bad meh? No what. I thought to myself. Maybe I should do some facial since Matt is not awake yet.

Oh, but there's some spring cleaning to be done before he wakes. I'll do facial tonight.

But I think I did not even put moisturizer before I slept last night when I crashed after putting Matt to bed.

Sigh.

My skin has aged. I've aged.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Fren Fries


Hmmmm ... this thing is YUMMY! (For the records, the fries at PS Cafe has some truffle oil on them, very yummy indeed!)