Matthew: Growing Up

Matthew. I haven't been posting much about him.  But we have been doing helluva lots with him. Improving motor skills, reading, writing, art, conversational skills, self-feeding, instilling confidence, independence. It began right about the time I started staying home last September, just before Lucas was born, just before Matt turned 4.

Prior to that, his teachers mentioned to us about his inability use the scissors well, to write A-Z properly, to count accurately, to draw, to wear his own socks, to focus. This feedback was given to us when Matt was 3.5. We asked if he was a happy kid, and they unanimously agreed he is possibly the happiest kid on the block. We asked if other kids could do all that they mentioned about, we didn't quite get an answer, which we took it as no. That was our pride speaking, of course.  As we left, we jokingly dissed the teacher, the kindergarten system.

Deep down, we left disheartened, were concerned, but rested in assurance that he was happy. That was of utmost importance to us.

BUT.

We decided we HAD TO do something about it.  For the longest time, we didn't quite bother with many things, rightly and wrongly. We have been lazy parents  :p  It was time to correct the things that had somewhat gone off the course, and it was time to address his educational needs.  While we felt that perhaps expectations were high from "local kindergartens", Matt will eventually be part of the Singapore education system which he cannot escape from, not unless we migrate elsewhere.

So we embarked on many projects to help Matt, to get him up to curve.  We tried to keep things as fun as possible.  We wanted him to continue to have a childhood and not be sucked into the regiments of "school" at only 4!

We wrote letters to Santa, we splashed paint.  We started him on Kumon: they cover everything from cutting/pasting, colouring, A-Z, 1-100, mazes, drawing, time, math. The best part about it, Matt loves the series. Maybe it's the predictability of the Kumon method, he actually asks to "study" as he calls it.


Focused on cutting and pasting


Hubby taught him art.  To get him interested, he drew his favourite vehicles, then got him to colour them.



The education bit was the easy one.  Motor and social development, more challenging.

Before, because we were working and he was largely left to the devices of our helper and grandparents, most things were done for him.  He watched TV while having his meals.  He was baby-talked to most of the time.  He was pat-patted to sleep in the afternoons.

Some undesirable traits as a result - He was under-developed in some motor skills.  He didn't speak properly.  Little eye contact.  He was afraid to get his hands dirty.  He was somewhat not as comfortable with sand despite several beach holidays.  He doesn't feed himself.

We took deliberate steps to correct everything.

We allocated time for him to wear his own socks, shoes, clothes.  We budgeted time for him to have longer meals because he wasn't fed.  We cut out even educational DVDs.  We spoke to him.  Made him listen.  Things we were doing already doing but was never quite consistent because when he's not with us or if we were rushing, he gets away.  But now that I am home, there's greater control, which results in a method that kids reportedly thrive on: consistency.  Sure, there were moments when I took short-cuts because there's Lucas, too, but it was certainly not like the times when he was at my in-laws.

A friend got him a kids' blender for Christmas.  I made him cut fruits, get his hands all slimy.  He protested, but he made himself the yummiest smoothie.  I see him cope.  Initially, he kept repeating to himself, "I can wash my hands afterwards".  Now, he wants mess.

We brought him to different playgrounds every day.  Sand play.  Different kids, different dynamics.  He now rolls happily in sand.



In 3-6 months, before he turned 4.5, he was able feed himself and finish his meals fairly quickly without TV, wear his own clothes, button his clothes, wear his socks, look more at people's eyes when he speaks to them, write his A-Z, lower and upper letter cases, count 1-50, read some simple words, tell time up to half-past, draw some, cut, paste. He related to Lucas well.  We even worked in getting him to go diaperless at night, with only 3-4 accidents in the first 2 months, and none thereafter.


All his own effort, except help with spelling

Of course, I wouldn't dare claim that it was all our effort.  A large part of it, we felt, was also because maybe he simply came of age.  Whichever the case, we are mightily proud of his remarkable progress in such a short time.

Matthew & his Lego

This was the set that started it all. We got it for him when he was about 3.5 years old.

Sure, he was exposed to the Mega Blocks and Lego Duplo when he was younger, but this one was different. This was his first set that came with instructions on how to build the structures. And he was hooked.

He would sit there, patiently turn the instruction booklet page by page and build these structures. He would take them apart and build them over and again. All by himself, with an occasional look at me for approval that he was doing it right. I later learnt that his ability is a feat because he was only 3.5 and sets like these were meant for children 7-12.

I didn't think much about what he was doing, and since he liked it, we fed him set after set. Much better than action figurines.

Then one day, we lost a couple of these little bricks.

Now, if you have dealt this these lego sets, you would think people working in Lego are mad. Their attention to detail is amazingly terrifying if you asked me. For eg., they have these little lights that are 0.5cm, and you painstakingly build them but in the end, it might not even be visible because it is inside the structure.

When my little boy came to me upset that he couldn't find a 1cm blue rectangle or a 0.5cm round red brick, it first annoyed me because he bugged me endlessly to help him find it. Then, it got me really worried. Really really worried.

Because not only was he upset that the bricks were missing, but he had memorized where these bricks were meant to be! He did not need to consult the instruction booklet to know that the piece was indeed to be there. I will come back to this issue in another blog, but for now, this is Matt's love in the toy department.

Legos. Lego City and Lego Creator in particular.

He has 9-1o sets thanks to his birthday and Christmas gifts, with the fire engine being his ultimate favourite. We contributed 3 sets in our moments of parental weakness of wanting to witness the ecstatic look on his face receiving them. Very skewed vehicles collection at the moment, because the sets on city buidlings are mightily pricey. But I am sure he will get there.

Some of his lego vehicles

Initiation to Art

I have never been good at drawing or anything in the creative department, and we have been slackers in this respect (and many more).

Over the weekend, hubs had a mission to impart his drawing and colouring skills to his son. He started, very cleverly I thought, with Matt's favourite toys. Using his vehicle toys as references, hubs drew the outline, and had Matt colour the pictures. And he also threw in a session of writing alphabets by writing his name on the artwork.

After just 2 days (and comparing the art work he brings home from school), Matt colouring strokes were a lot more confident and consistent, and he eagerly bugs us for "art class".

Well done, papa!

Lego

Matt likes Lego, and builds ONLY big mega structures. Like this ...

... and this ....

The first one, he says it's an ark, after Noah's Ark. The size is huge, as is in the story, but the similarities end there. On all his arks, there must be a house "for mama to cook in", and "flowers for mama" (the red thing sticking out next to the house). Then there are many captains, and there is a crane to help build the big ark. But no animals.

The second one, it's his steam train.

Gymnastics

I started Matt at the SJ Gymnastics last month, and he has been loving it. We wanted to expose him to something else other than swimming, and thought that gymnastics would be good for general physical development in terms of strength, coordination and flexibility. He enjoyed the trial class, so there was no turning back since.

For now, the coach is happy for Matt to just explore and have a feel of the trampoline, the balance beam, the high bar, uneven bars, even the vault. I am happy that he enjoys the class, although at times, I feel he is not really listening well to instructions yet to be fully reap the benefits of the class. But I am a sucker for happy faces and ear-to-ear grins. Just as with swimming, the exposure made him comfortable in, and not be fearful of, water, and most importantly, he was having fun. So the same will apply for the gymnastics class. As long as he is happy.

on the balance beam

chuckling away on the still rings

Puzzle Extraordinaire!

Children are what they are exposed to by their parents. Since about 18 months, I have employed puzzles to attract him to "settle down" given his active ways. His attention span is surprisingly long on this one.

He started with this. 2-piece puzzles. Took quite a while to get the concept of puzzles, and to piece two to make one animal. But once he grasped it, he never looked back!

He then moved on to this. Bought this from Popular for $9.95. Contains 8 mini puzzles, each ranging from 6 - 10 pieces, some as small as a 10-cent coin! They have different themes - transport, farm animals, around the house, etc. Matt played with the puzzle, day in, day out. He really mastered all 8 puzzles.

And during Christmas last year when gugu was back from Australia, she challenged him by putting out all 8 puzzles. With all the little pieces strewn behind him, he sat there and slowly worked through them all. We were impressed, part at his ability, but more so at his patience.

We further encouraged him by buying him these rather pricey 15- and 20-piece puzzles from Growing Fun. Big mistake. It took him only 2 -3 days to master each of the puzzles. But he loved them and played with them for weeks.

video's a tad bit long .. don't know how to cut

Seriously, I did not make much out of Matt's ability with puzzles, until my friend recently pointed out that her god-daughter is much much older, and is probably not half as fast as Matt. I guess ultimately, children are what you expose them to.

Mother-Son Morning

I've always longed for a nice mother-son outing. One that is different from the usual swim class, or grocery shopping. One that we can SIT DOWN, do nothing, and look at the world go by. But when I look at Matt and his active ways, I often wondered if the day would ever come.

Last Thursday though, I decided to try. I came home early from running an errand in the wee hours of the morning, and told him we'd take the bus and train. His eyes literall lit up :)

After his breakfast, he grabbed his bus and train toys before we boarded the shuttle bus from our estate, and then, the train to Bishan. I decided on Toast Box for breakfast. Got my teh-c but had to wait for my otah toast. I propped Matt up on the wooden stool, and we sat there waiting while Matt amused himself with the no. tag that was given to us for the otah toast.

"Tunnel!" he exclaimed. "I want bus. I want twain."

These kept him amused for a while until my otah toast came. I took his strawberries/blueberries snack out and we ate "together." It was a really nice feeling, a great mother-son moment for me, and hopefully for him. He grinned at me as he chomped on the strawberries, and I think he must be happy, too.

After breakfast, there was still plenty of time till the next shuttle bus comes along to bring us home. As we loitered around, I remembered there was a library nearby, and I've been wanting to bring him to one for a long time.

And oh my! The library is so changed from the times I went in my schooling years. Everything is so ... automated. And the library at Bishan is awesome - it has a room in the basement specially for children, complete with colourful stools and chairs and tables the right height for little toddlers. We picked some books, and Matt quietly sat there reading.

It is easy to sign kids up as members. All you need is their birth cert no. And they'd get their own library card! Cute eh?! Unfortunately, I didn't have Matt's with me that day.


It was a wonderful wonderful Thursday morning with Matt :) I guess I underestimated my little boy. He is capable of sitting down and letting mama enjoy a cuppa. A toast to more of such days!

Training Bike

Matt received a training bike from his gu gu last Christmas, and is finally showing some signs of being tall enough to ride it.

It goes by many names - walking bike, balance bike - and is popular in the European countries. Essentially, it is a bike without pedals, and aims to teach toddlers to maneuver the bike using their own feet. The over-arching objective is for them to learn balance, steering and coordination without relying on training wheels. Eventually, they graduate onto bigger 2-wheel bikes more naturally and with greater ease.

At the moment, Matt carefully "walks" the bike around the house. He seems to be getting more confident with each try. Once he is more sure-footed on it, I will let him bring it outdoors to the parks.

I have seen it in some bicycle shops in Singapore, with a rather hefty price tag, though. We were fortunate enough that gu gu kindly bought it for her little nephew from Aussie!

Sell Newspaper

This is a father-son activity that hubs is very proud of.

Every few weeks on a Sat or Sun, dear daddy would listen out for the newspaper man sounding his horn and driving his karang guni lorry. He would excitedly shout for him as he passes by our house, and father-son wait on as uncle weighs the newspapers.


The little one patiently waits for uncle to give him money ...


.... so he can insert the coins into his piggy bank and hear the "oink oink" as they go through the coin slot. Sometimes, he gets dollars. Those go in through the piggy's nostrils.

Safety First, Finally!

After months of trying, we finally managed to coax Matthew to wear his helmet! By threatening him that if he doesn't wear it, there will be no cycling! I was over the moon by both the fact that he finally has his protective headgear on AND the fact that he is SO FREAKING CUTE in it! :)

Safety first, my boys!

My Face is Wet! Arghh!

INTERIM SCORE
"Beat the teacher! Go up! Go home!" 1
"Go schimming! One two three, jump!" 3

Matt seemed to enjoy his first swim lesson at Marsden, but completely hated it the second time round. He asked to go home and actually cried when the instructor took him. He clung on to me chanting "go home, go home" and actually smacked the the instructor's arms twice!

50-50, I thought to myself. Ok, I'd give it another go, and if he behaved the same way, I will stop swim lessons. I just want him to have fun, no point forcing the issue.

Third lesson was like the first, laced with ocassional "du wan" and "go home." But he was generally happy. Before the lesson started, I sat him by the edge of the pool to kick water, which maybe helped him realise that water play can actually be fun. Previously, we'd go right into the pool, and he'd get his face all splashed and wet, something which he especially hates.

This morning, he grabbed my hand and dragged me to sit with him by the pool side. We sat there and kicked while waiting for our class to start. When I got in, he excitedly reached his arms out to me. I could tell he started following the lessons and the songs, and would want to jump in when it's time to do so. Still getting used to being submerged underwater while he "swam" towards me, but he actually splashed water with his palms and was ok getting his face wet!

I am most encouraged! Hope he will continue enjoying himself at the subsequent lessons, and I am hopeful!

Of Music and Water Play

Despite staying home full-time for 3 months from Nov to Feb, I hardly brought Matt out for "social interaction" until he was about 17 months old. I suppose a large part is due to my fear in driving. At hubs encouragement and out of desire to do interesting stuff with Matt, I pushed myself hard, and hubs now labels me a speed monster.

I registered Matt at Kindermusik when he was about 17 months old. He attended one term of Kindermusik Village and one term of Our Time. Matt seemed to like the class, although most of the time, he wandered off on his own - to look at drums when the class was exploring the shakers, or tug at the bag of balls when everyone else is having quiet time with soft toys. Over time, however, there were moments when he'd concentrate on what the teacher was doing. He also loved collecting the stamps at the end of the lessons.

He loves the CDs that come as part of the home material. Whenever his favourite slow track comes on, he'd toddle over and sit in my lap and we'd sway to the tune. Or when a fast familiar track is playing, he'd start dancing.

At the end of Our Time term, I decided to let Matt experience something else, and signed him up for swimming lessons at Marsden. Can't decide if he likes it. He'd cling tight to me and say "du wan du wan! go up! go home!" but he'd chuckle happily when he's being put on the slide to swoosh down towards me in the pool. When he was "flung" underwater from the instructor to me, he emerged stunned, wondering what just happened, then hung on to me chanting "du wan du wan" but he'd laugh when the instructor took him away again. I'd say we had fun, and I'll give it a few more sessions to assess if he truly enjoys it.