Where's The Sleep Monster

I am sitting next to Matthew as he takes his nap for the day. In case he stirs, I can pat pat him so he'll sleep longer.

It's all a fuzz now, but Matt used to be a horrid sleeper, right up to when he was about one year old. I remember tending to him more than three times a night, every night. I was so sleep-deprived, and now wonder how did I survived those days while still keeping a 9-6 job.

The worst part of the sleep routine, if I can call it one, was the putting him to bed bit. Hubs blamed it on the Filipino helper. Take note if you have a chance next time. They all have this dance.

Sway hip, right leg out, sway hip, left leg out, sway hip, right leg back, sway hip, left leg back. Dance dance. Sway sway. Dance dance dance. Matt loved it. I'd have to follow the helper cause that was what Matt was used to while I was at work. So every night at bedtime, and when he woke up from his slumber in the middle of the night, I danced.

As he progressively piled on weight at the 90th percentile mark, we continued to dance. Well, I'd like to think I was, what with Matt weighing what he did lying in my arms. Things got worse when Matt learnt how to resist sleep by "planking" and writhing all around. I mean, carrying a sack of rice is ok. Carrying a MOVING sack of rice, now, that is a different thing altogether.

I'd ask hubs to put him to bed sometimes. He tried, but I don't think swaying hips is his thing. Matt quickly learnt who were the better dancers.

One of my dear friend's daughter was the same. We plotted what we termed Operation Nazi. The cry-it-out method. We'd be hard-hearted, ruthless Nazis who took no nonsense.

I tahan-ed Matt's wailing for what seemed like an eternity when it was like ... 2 minutes? I had to put my gun down and my Nazi persona evaporated. A check with my friend revealed that her daughter took the gun out of her hands and shot her instead.

So the dance continued. I love Matt dearly, but I was dreading every bedtime and every time he woke up in the night. I wondered if I will be able to carry him like this and dance forever. I envied those parents whose kids fell asleep on their own. I sometimes regretted not letting him suck his thumb.

Then one fine night when he was about 14 months old, Matt climbed onto the sofa in his room and lied down on his tummy. My helper pat-patted him till he fell asleep. Just like that.

It takes a long time to put him to bed this way. With me, it's an hour. That's a lot of time when there was so much waiting to be done. But that hour slowly became the best hour of my day. I'd sit by the sofa, sing to him, talk to him, pray with him. And so our bedtime routine, which I tried but failed to establish for a long time, began from here. These days, he'd sit on my lap and I'd read with him for half an hour before he drinks his milk. We'd then look out of the window and say good night to all the things and people he loves. He'll know it's bedtime, and he'd lie down on the sofa and I'll recount the days activities with him, who he met, and what we will do tomorrow. Then I'll pat him till he falls asleep.

And sleep he does until the early morning, when he'd cry for his milk, takes it, and goes back to sleep again until papa and mama get ready for work.

:-)

he. just. wouldn't. eat.

Matthew was an easy baby to feed. He'd eat everything I put in front of him - cereal, porridge, white rice, brown rice, pasta, cheese, apple, avocados, pears, peas, spinach, brocolli, carrots, pumpkins, potatoes, tofu, steamed fish, beef, chicken, pork, liver. It was truly a joy feeding him.

Suddenly, he decided to starve to fight a cause to maybe free the animals or something.

Started about the time he turned one. Some days, I'd be lucky if I get manage even one spoonful of rice into his mouth. Zero meat or greens. I can tell teething days apart - they'd be characterized by no interest in even snacks. But on days he fights his cause(s),

he. just. wouldn't. eat.

I lost my temper and shouted at him many times. Especially when he pushed my hand away, and the spoon and food get strewn all over the floor. I'd feel so bad for yelling at him, but it was super frustrating.

Naturally, I was also worried. I wondered if there was something wrong with him. How is he going to get by without any nutrients?

I started to waver on my 'no tv, no toys' resolution. You want car car? Ok. Buses? Ok. Blocks? Ok. How about we change to stacking cups now? You're bored already? Oh! Shape sorters? Sure!

He also ate better if he ate rice with strong tasting fruits. Strawberries, blueberries, banana, kiwi. We'd mash his vege, stack that under the rice, top it with tasty meat, and disguise everything with a layer of fruit. We'd make sure both his hands are busy with some toys so he wouldn't be able to push our hands away. Then we'd "attack" his mouth and shove the whole lot of food in.

Most days, we manage to feed at least half his meal this way. I often wondered if he was even aware that he was eating, let alone what he is eating, but I am certain he knows. Because whenever we removed the fruit, he wouldn't open his mouth.

So Matt, guess what? Mama wouldn't let you win those hunger strikes. Just face it ok? You eat. Cause I said so.

Which toy now? The maracas? Be my guest!

Yakety-Yak

Matt's speech ability is a bit of a laggard compared to his motor skills. I cannot remember exactly when he uttered his first words, must've been around 13 months or so. But I remember Howie and I wondering if he was referring to us when he said 'papa' and 'mama' cause many things like food and toys were 'papa' and 'mama' to him, too!

But he knew exactly what he was talking about with the next two words that followed - 'car' and 'bah' (bus) - he'd point accurately to these moving vehicles.

Round about 15 months, he began to quickly understand words we say to him. He was able to point to his nose, ear and hair, tum tum, belly button, fingers, toes, feet, armpits, neck, and interestingly enough, a mole on his left arm. He'd raise both arms up as if to surrender when we pointed to his chest and said "hands up!" Absolutely hilarious!


He can "give mama a kiss!" and "hug mama!" and give a "fly kiss", sometimes from his nose.

These day, he can imitate quite well if he wants to. He knows quite a lot -

ye ye, nai nai, aaah-ma, aaah-kng
che che, kor kor, mae mae (mei mei/little sister), bae-bi (baby)
aaahhnn-na (aunty. once in a while, he gets the 'ty'), ang-ge (uncle)
eeeeee-sh (izzy, his friend)
mik (milk), no moh (no more), pish (please)
shan (sun), moooon (moon), no moooon (no moon), moll (mole)
dwop or toe (drop or throw), ba-baii (bye bye)
wit (wait) , sheek (sit), chu (shoe), bok-sh (box), shing (swing)
trok (truck), bik (big), twaine (train), wee (wheel), tackter (tractor), tank (tanker), pain (plane)
bert (bird), twee twee (tweet tweet), dog, bak (bug), roor (roar), sheesh (fish), cik (chicken)
tah (star), sh-nek (snack), tit-tak (the candy, tic tac), stwo (strawberry), bed (bread)
wa-te-bo-te (water bottle), dun (don't)
ae (A), B, one, chu (two), tee (three), for (four)
book, no no, go go, o-oh
but-tngggg! (he says this A LOT and grins but we have no clue what he means)
nyah nyah (this means tomato, for some strange reason)

And he says them in the cutest tone! I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE teaching and hearing him make these joyful noises!

".. Not Very You Wor .."

I shared my blog with a dear friend.

The feedback, via msn - "not very you wor .. it should be cb! my breasts bleeding lor! but i still love you matthew!"

Well, that's how we speak on msn every day. You see, we get pretty worked up when we trade stocks, and when the market misbehaves (70% of the time!), we get emotional and have to let it all out while maintaining a straight face in the office. Expletive only please! Wuahahahaha!

Breast-feeding. What an experience! I breast-fed Matthew for about eight months. It was great bonding time, and how amazing is it for me to be able to nourish my child just like that. Just Like That. I remember looking forward to going home from work for that last feed before Matthew goes to bed. It was the highlight of the day for me! Pumping was not fun at all.

They said that babies have withdrawal symptoms once the mothers stop breast-feeding. To be honest, I think it is the mothers who face that issue. I couldn't do it for the longest time. I'd have 1001 excuses for prolonging breast-feeding, which I denied when hubs accused me of not wanting to give up breast-feeding. Maybe it was because I felt that I wanted to make up for being unable to breast-feed completely by feeding him longer? Maybe. But I just loved the emotions I felt when breast-feeding him, and that alone was excuse enough for me to continue.

Not all that nice and dandy this breast-feeding business, though. It is seriously very hard work. And my dear friend is right. In his words, "... cb! my breasts bleeding lor, but i still love you matthew!"

My Husband, Matthew's Papa

Actually, it was at Howie's insistence that I blog about him fixing the bike at the park yesterday evening, to put down for the records his accomplishment as a daddy.

Honest truth is, he has been the pillar of strength for me, although I don't think I ever communicated that to him, ever. In fact, I often told him he doesn't do enough. I'd always pick on how he gets so much personal time watching tv, reading newspaper, and surfing. I'd remind him he doesn't know how to feed Matt or put Matt to bed now that our little toddler is exercising his insistence on having mama and no one else at these tasks. I'd yell at him for winding me up whenever I was tired. And I'd get upset and take it out on him whenever I have disagreement with the ways in which my in-laws are bringing Matthew up on.

I am quite ashamed of myself. Honestly, he has done a wonderful job as a father! First off, he was so macho cutting his son's umbilical cord (under the No Choice Act!). From someone who didn't quite dare carry his own little baby, he can now shower the boy on his own! He tried to stay up with me to give me moral support whenever I had to pump milk in the middle of the night, although he struggled to stay awake. Whenever I felt burnt out, he'd ask me to "apply leave!", quietly put me to bed and he'd sleep on the sofa in Matthew's room and manage the night feeding as best he could. He'd take Matt out on his own some Saturday mornings so I could sleep in a little while longer. He'd hold me and tell me I am the best mother ever whenever I had doubts in myself when Matt misbehaves. He'd tell me Matt has the best care in the world because I am his mama. He'd get lost in his own thoughts about what he'd do with Matt when the little boy is older (he invested in a ski suit already!). He behaves like he earns a million bucks a month when he is at the toys and clothes department shopping for Matthew. He'd rush home early so he can bring his son out for walkies. Actually, he felt very sad and discouraged when, for a period of time, Matt pushed him away all the time after one of the business trips. These days, Matt absolutely loves his papa and would look for him to say good night before he goes to bed. He is officially the meat specialist - he couldn't stop beaming when Matt loved the chicken, beef and pork he cooked for the little fussy tyke!

Above all, Howie is the best husband I can ever ask for, and I have to seriously learn how to cut him some slack because he is already doing his best.

And darling Matthew, your papa is the best one around, you know? He will fulfill your wildest dreams, and give you everything you could possibly want. Even if it isn't within his means, he'd always do his utmost best, like how he is being his best in our lives right now!

Happy Papa's Day!!

Father's Day at Pasir Ris Park

We brought Matt to church this morning, and he kept wanting to disturb this baby who was sleeping so soundly on her daddy's chest. He'd point and say "bae-bi!" and insisted I carry him so he can see her. The daddy didn't look too happy! Then he kept wanting to walk up and down the steps of the auditorium, until he spotted another baby with Gerber stars which he wanted to eat. Grabbed the bottle of Gerber from the mother and gave it to me to open! He was very naughty!

We also brought him to Pasir Ris Park after his afternoon nap. We rented two bikes, one with a baby seat behind. We rode to this nice patch of lush greenery, and let him run free! He chased birds, picked up dried leaves, and ran and ran all about.

"The sky!"

As usual, Matt always love sabo-ing Howie and me by poo-ing outside! (The other place he loved poo-ing is on the plane!) I was taking photos of him when suddenly, he squatted down, and soon enough, started straining.

After we cleaned him, hubs decided to hanky-panky with the bike before I rode it, and caused the chain on the bike to become stuck. No matter how he yanked, the chain wouldn't come free. So I had to walk the bike with Matt on it back to the shop while hubs rode back to get assistance. I had a pleasant stroll with Matt - I pointed out to my little curious boy the sun, sky, birds, grass, and trees, as we walked. Soon enough, hubs came back with a tool, and fixed the bike! So macho! True to fatherhood!! :) A great adventure for hubs on Father's Day!

One Month Old, and Very Quickly One Year Old!

We ordered pretty cup cakes in celebration of Matthew turning one month old. Party was a simple one with immediate family.

For his one year old party, we put in some efforts in organizing Matthew's a good one. The party also served as a house-warming party for those who have not been to our new home.

It started about 4:00pm, and ended around 9:30pm. We had the prata man from Casuarina come to our place to make fresh prata!! The food spread was good, although not too kid-friendly since they were primarily spicy! But the kids had their fill with chocolate prata and the sweet varieties! I think Matthew had a good time with so many children around!

Diarrhea

Matt had difficulty poo-ing in the first three weeks of his existence.  Then as if to tell me he is more than capable in this department, he had diarrhea for almost three weeks when he was about ten months old.

In summary, he LS-ed endlessly, at the worst, about 8 times in 24 hours.  Even in his sleep.  I slept with him on the mattress every night - each time he moved, I'd wake up to see him get on all four, crouching in pain from stomach churn, then he'd LS.  I had to spray water to wash the stool off, and he would grab my hand or pull my shirt, clinging on so tight and cried in pain.  I cried with him every time  :(

Desitin was his, and my, best friend.  It formed a protective layer to prevent the stool from direct contact with his skin.  Smecta, Reutefene and/or Lactoguard ruled the day.  On his pedi's recommendation, I switched to Isomil soy milk.  He was a good boy and drank them despite the change in taste.  After about ten days and no sight of an end, I sought opinion of another pedi, but it was the same diagnosis.  She also recommended that I reduced solids and gave him more formula made with porridge water so that Matt wouldn't be too hungry.  I re-looked all the formulaes available on the supermarket shelves and found Enfalac lactose-free.  Unlike Isomil, this was cow-based.  I decided to give it a try. Once I switched, Matt started to show some improvement.  So either Matt did not take well to soy-based formula, or the bacteria just cleared by then.  Whatever the case, I was glad.  

Matt lost about 0.4kg from this bout of diarrhea.

Despite all the pain and discomfort, Matt remained largely happy and active!  His disposition amazes me. I think most children are amazing in this respect.

These days, whenever Matt poos more than once a day, I go on HIGH alert.  Phobia!

Of Clinic Visits, Jabs, Being Sick and Medications

We hardly brought Matt out in the first six months except for routine clinic visits for jabs. His first visit was about a week after his birth, a routine check-up.  Matt didn't poo since he got back home from the hospital, so he had a suppository shoved up his ass (eew!)  When we got home, he poo-ed.  Wonders of modern medicine.  On the left is a picture of Matt during one of his clinic visits, taken in Mar 08.

Next visit was about a month later, also routine.  This time round, medical invoice recorded 'Sterimar Microspray' which was prescribed as Matt seemed to have difficulty breathing in his sleep.  Apparently, his nostrils were a tad bit too small, so we'd administer this spray up his nose whenever he seemed to have "blocked nose."  Spraying water up his nostrils seemed mightily uncomfortable and an "invasive" procedure, so we decided not to use it often. 

Matt first fell sick when he was about three months old.  I remember it was after Chinese New Year.  Hubs was most proud of his cute little son, and showed him off to his bunch of friends who were visiting.  Aircon was at full blast as it was very hot - we concluded that the cold air blowing directly at him was too much for the little kiddo.  More nasal drop, Zyrtec drop and Mucosolvan.  These were the usual medicine doctors prescribed whenever Matt fell sick.  I grew to have a preference for medication which I can mix with his milk (like the Zyrtec drops) over those I have to force-feed using syringe (like Mucosolvan).  Typically, the medicine would be flavoured - Matt's favourite was grape (Bambec).

Matt's first high fever was in June 2008, when he was 7.5 months old.  Hubs was on overseas business trip, and I was home alone with my helper.  His temperature was 38.5C around 8:oopm, and I gave him paracetamol.  The temperature, however, climbed up to close to 39C and I remember waiting frantically for the four hour mark to give him another dose.  After the second dosage, it came off to about 38.7C.  My helper and I sponged him, and took turns to cradle him in our arms to give him comfort and help him sleep.  In less than an hour, his temperature soared above 39C, and I started to panic.  I didn't know what to do.  I called a cab, and rushed him to KK A&E at around 1:30am.  At the hospital, they immediately gave him another dosage of paracetamol, and inserted a bag to collect his pee.  While waiting for his pee, Matt was alert to the new surrounding, and refused to sleep despite clearly tired from fighting the fever.  I fed him water and milk, and prayed that he'd pee quickly so we could get him home to rest.  But no pee came.  Finally at 3:00am, the nurse checked his pee bag and realised that it moved and he had peed into the diaper quite a fair bit.  Aarrgghhhh!  I decided to forget about the pee since his temperature came off.  We got home around 4:00pm, and I carried him in my arms, sat on the sofa, and we slept in that position until the morning.  I brought him to his pedi, who gave us Nurofen, which I learnt was to be administered alternately with paracetamol whenever high fever wouldn't subside.  Fortunately, I did not have to use it - just as quickly as the fever came, it went away.  Apparently, his body was fighting some virus.  So I guess Matt's body was strong enough to defeat the virus on his own!

Matt took well to all his jabs from birth till 18 months.  He mostly did not cry except for the second one; the rest we distracted him with snacks or toys (and suckling when he was younger).  He'd let out a small cry, and then he'd be happily eating or playing  :)  In fact, the useless mama cried for the first jab.  Wuahahahahahaha!  He also did not develop severe reaction except for the second jab where he ran a fever and was cranky and didn't sleep well.

Joy in the Early Morning

This morning, as usual, Matt whined when he woke up. My helper got to him first as I was brushing my teeth. I went to his room to find him enjoying a snooze for a while longer in my helper's arms. As my helper transferred him to me, his face broke into an intense frown, clearly irritated by this disruptive move. As he slowly peered through his sleepy eyelids and saw me, the frown melted and gave way to a BIG smile and my darling Matthew called out, "mama ...!" in the most sleepy, manja tone ... aaawwwwwwwwwww!

Early Months

My feeding journal says -

3:45 am - LB/RB = pumped 100ml  

7:30 am - RB, suckled

7:50 am - LB, suckled, fell asleep

9:00 am - showered

9:15 am - 100ml, 30ml formula

9:35 am - pangsai

10:00 am - suckled to sleep

That pretty much summed up the Matt's first two months or so, and my schedule for many months to come.  He grew considerably, weight at 90th percentile, height >97th percentile and head circumference at 97th percentile.

Towards end of his second month, Matt was clearly more responsive, uttering his little coos, smiling when he heard my voice, and even chuckled when we played with him.  He smiles and laughs a lot - a happy baby!  He has the amazing ability to make me feel like nothing else matters.  I could stare at him for hours, trying to catch his many many priceless expressions!  He also started to realize the existence of his hands and legs.  He'd laugh, then all of a sudden, stare very hard at his left hand.

We started giving him tummy time to make the little dude work those milk off, and by end of third month, he could turn onto his tummy on his own and raise his head.  We wondered if the weight of his tummy toppled him over onto his tummy, cause he'd find it hard to turn back onto his back.  We finally concluded he is lazy - he never rolled back onto his back even at 6.5 months old, and was content to be on tummy for a long time.

At 4.5 months, Matt more than doubled his weight, tipping the scale at 7.4kg and measuring 64.8cm.

 2 months 3 days old

The First Month

Well, four months after my first attempt at blogging, I am posting my second blog. I am amazed .. wuahahahahaha!

I am travelling back in time through 19 months worth of stuff, flipping through feeding journals, Matt's health book, clinic receipts, sms-es and emails to friends asking for advice, photos.

My first month as a mommy was a tough one. I had post-delivery complications - I was unable to pee normally. So I carried a pee bag with me all the time, and it was tough caring for Matt with a pee bag in tow. Once I picked him up, I was unable to move. Once I breast-fed, I'd have blood trickling down the tube to the floor. Messy. Someone had to take over Matt while I go clean-up. I had to sit on salt bath to prevent infection. I was tired. I was in pain. My breasts wouldn't let down because of the pain, and I didn't have enough milk for Matt. It was very trying. It was the first case for my gynae. Even the urologist had no answer. No explanation. It just happens, apparently. It was worrying. In and out of the clinic, but I just couldn't do it.

I'd rush home from the clinic to hold Matt every time, and tell myself to be strong. I'd cry. But I'd look at my little baby and I know I have to be strong. I look at my husband when he sleeps, and I know I have to be strong. Because he was so strong for me. We had our own unspoken fear and worry. But we were strong for each other. Three full weeks passed, and the sound of pee never sounded sweeter when it finally happened! Ha ha ha! Hallelujah! Things looked up from there!

My baby Matthew 1 - 2 days old