The Dilemma

Matt turns 3 this year. Most kids his age are already attending pre-school. Matt? He stays home mostly, doing jack. He spends his days playing with his train set, fixing puzzles, watching Word World and Wheels on the Bus DVDs, listening to me reading story books to him, taking bus and mrt rides, running around in the garden, digging sand at the playground nearby, spending time at yeye's place learning nothing constructive. The only class he attends is his weekly swim class.

There was, and still is, a lot of inertia and reluctance on my part to start him at pre-school. I am not a cool mom when Matt falls ill, and I am certain he will fall sick often if he attends pre-school. Rite of passage, building up immunity - I know all about that, but I felt subjecting little Matt to all these were unnecessary. Not at that age, anyways. A November baby, he was barely 2 in Jan!

I wanted Matt to have a childhood where mama is around. I wanted to give Matt a childhood. A longer childhood. A fun childhood. One that he will remember playing hide-and-seek with mama, laughing hysterically when we roll around the bed, one where he kicks air instead of the ball and falls and still laughs gleefully. General silliness. A childhood that he explores things on his own - notices the lizard on the ceiling, that grass is soft, that some bugs fly, that people have emotion, all in his own time. Not through classroom learning.

And I guess I do not want him to grow up too fast.

He enjoys books, has good motor skills, speaks some, sings some, knows to share, is gentle, is cheeky, and most importantly, has fun doing all the things he does every day. I'd like to think he is developing well.

Sometimes though, I self-doubt. I know I am not doing enough for Matt. I don't have many flash cards. He doesn't learn phonics. He doesn't know colouring. He is not interested in hand painting. He doesn't really know how to recite A-Z. He doesn't know how to hold a real conversation yet. His peers are doing more or less of all that.

I look at him these days, and I know he is capable of so much more, and learning more than he is now. Why am I not taking advantage of this? Am I doing him a disservice by keeping him at home?

I finally got my act together and registered him for N2 which starts next year. I might just be the last mother standing who starts her kid in school at 4! Maybe I should be doing more in the time being. Like start him in a pre-school right away? I don't know. Inertia.

I still want him to just have fun. Being silly. At home. With me.