My Life: 55 Boxes

I have been busy packing for the move.  Been at it for almost a month now.  A box or two every night when the kids are asleep.  No one helps me.

I work alone.  I complain about having no help, but honestly, I secretly I enjoy it.  I am a Nazi when it comes to packing.  I like to take my time to go through and organize everything.  Every item I come across has a meaning, a reason, and it's nice to re-visit them.  There's something quite therapeutic about the whole exercise.  I buy Samla boxes from Ikea in varying sizes (these are the best in my opinion: can be washed, stackable) and sort, sort, and sort.

Of course, I also chuck things out that have no relevance in our lives now.  Time to de-clutter, too.

I was given 55 carton boxes by Shalom movers who think I need that many for all our belongings.  I believe I am at box 28 now.  Kinda running out of time, so I need to speed things up a little.

But it is interesting to see my life, my family, my home, all compartmentalized into boxes.

December

It is December: my favourite month of the year.

There's something nice about this month, apart from 25th December.  There's like ... meaning in the things people do.  Slow down, catch up, be nostalgic, drink and be merry, give thanks.

I hope everyone has a wonderful month ahead.

Happy Birthday Matthew!

5 years ago at around this time, I was probably attempting to provide that mystifying colostrum to a little baby while blinking in tears of pain as he tried his darndest best to latch.

All that is but a blur now.

What I see today is this little boy staring right back at me, all 5 years of age, full of life, full of energy, full of cute nonsense that is sometimes outright irritating, but a lot of the times, nonsense that fill our lives with laughter and a sense of awe.

How quickly 5 years have gone by, and my first-born has taught me so much.  Parents often say that children do not  listen to them.  But I think we have a lot to learn from our children.  To learn to live and enjoy the moment more.  To be filled with enthusiasm every day.  To have a renewed zest for life every morning.  To live and let live.  To love unconditionally.

My darling Matthew, you bring so much life, so much joy and laughter into our family, and we love you so so much.  Happy 5th birthday!  Mama is proud to call you son, a true blessing from God indeed.

Lucas: One!

We had originally planned on skipping birthday parties for Lucas, until he comes of age to more appreciate it (or to demand it).  But guilt got the better of us.  Matt had parties since 1.  So we wanted to play "fair".

So we had it intimate.  Well, as intimate as we could.  A small get-together of close friends' little babies, capping the age at 2.  This is so it would seem more like a party for Lucas and not for Matt!

Truth be told, I enjoy planning parties for my kids.  I love to DIY the gift packs, design the invite, choose a cake, and work everything within a budget.  Of utmost importance is that the kids are happy, and our guests have good food (and hence, happy!)

I get most of my ideas from internet.  Some, I steal outright but tweak it to what I need.

The invite.  There are many interesting fonts that you can download for free from internet that makes the invite looks good. The one I used is called "Pea Stylist" and even comes with some cute animals. Google "pea fonts"

I had a freehand in choosing a theme since Lucas hasn't quite shown a preference for anything in particular, so I settled for something simple.  Polka dots.  That naturally meant that I got my usual cake supplier, Room for Dessert, to do up a polka dot cake.  Debbie makes the yummiest chocolate cake (her carrot cake is our favourite, too, but since it was a kids' party, thought they'd take better to chocolate).

Gift packs to make little kids happy.  Daiso is my favourite stop to hunt for nice thank you gifts.  Got the little girls tea sets and boys drawing boards.  Daiso is also the best place to get plain paper bags to put the gifts in.  4 pieces for $1.99 compared to the posh shops which sell 1 piece for $1.99, or possibly even more!  They often run out the moment they stock up, so get yours early if you spot them.  Popular bookshop is another place I frequent to get gift pack fillers, in this case, I got a little book for each one of them.  I like personalizing the gift packs, kids feel happy to identify their names on the packs (well, not yet for babies, but I do it anyway).

     

I do not like catering food because most of the time, it ain't that nice, and it's also hard to cater when the party is small (most require a minimum of 25 pax).  So I have a few food ideas that I rotate around the various parties over the years.  This time round, it is the famous Tian Tian chicken rice.  A hit with kids, and who doesn't like chicken rice?!

Oh of course, toys to keep the kids occupied and happy.  I usually rent one big toy, and some smaller supporting ones so the main toy doesn't get too crowded.  Some kids also prefer to play quietly by the side and not jostle with the crowd.

Lucas was very happy at the party.  Not the first time he was with so many other kids, but this was one he was happiest at.  Maybe it was the combination of a good nap and full tummy .. Am glad I did this little celebration for him.  Till the next one few years down the road ... maybe when he is 3 or 4 ... Happy birthday, Lucas baby!

The Calm Before The Storm

For the last few months, I felt like I was on a super train chugging non-stop.

Up and down trips to KL because mom AND dad were not well.  Hubby traveling almost every other week for long stretches INCLUDING weekends. Matt suffering from bout of nasty gastric flu almost requiring hospitalization.  Even my day-to-day living was dramatic: would you believe it, a snake in my backyard!  And I was home alone for days on end with hubs away in the army.

And here I am.  Knackered, but doing okay.  Parents are as good as can be.

In all that buzz, we managed to hold a small little do for Lucas, who, in a blink of an eye, turned one!  We also sold our place, AND bought a new one.  Don't know how we did it, but it happened.

Oh yeah, you guessed right.  More crazy busy days ahead with renovation.  And moving.  Twice! *shudder*

Well, one at a time.

And for now, I just want to enjoy things at standstill, for however long they last.

Should I Persevere?

I haven't blogged like ... forever.  I thought a lot about shutting down the blog.  But a large part of me wants to continue blogging and documenting my life with my kids, especially the good stuff.  Primarily a happy place filled with things and pictures to remind me that they are first and foremost blessings in my life when years down the road they do things that royally piss me off.

:)

So I shall attempt my utmost best to continue.

Brothers

I am thankful that Matthew has been the sweetest son I can ever ask for. I was told horror stories of how older siblings lost control of themselves with the arrival of a new baby in the family. I worried about that, especially since Matt has always been very close to me from young.

When Lucas was born, his maturity towards Lucas amazed me, and I am so proud of him.

He often asks us to let him carry Lucas. In Lucas' early months, he would stare at his little brother and kiss him, pat and sayang him like I do. Misled by the books he read about how having a sibling means having a constant playmate, he has since given up saying to Lucas (who only slept and fed then), "didi, wake up and play with me!"




I believe he had some little struggles when he saw me breast-feeding Lucas, and once I caught him looking somewhat disturbed when I was cradling and dancing with Lucas. He ran to me and hugged me hard. Some days in Lucas' first month at home, he would cry out of the blue. Rare occurances, but I believe he was adjusting, and I hope that I have done a good job in assuring him of my love for him.

These days, they have already started fighting, primarily over toys.  Lucas has no interest in his own "safe" toys, always preferring Matt's Lego.  Some days, he bosses over his didi, and gets angry with his didi when I pretend to scold Lucas for being naughty.  All very cute.  Lucas still adores his brother as ever, and cackles whenever Matt sings to entertain him.

"Turn this to the right, didi, and the song will be louder"

I pray that my two little boys will grow up to be fiercely close to each other.

Matthew: Growing Up

Matthew. I haven't been posting much about him.  But we have been doing helluva lots with him. Improving motor skills, reading, writing, art, conversational skills, self-feeding, instilling confidence, independence. It began right about the time I started staying home last September, just before Lucas was born, just before Matt turned 4.

Prior to that, his teachers mentioned to us about his inability use the scissors well, to write A-Z properly, to count accurately, to draw, to wear his own socks, to focus. This feedback was given to us when Matt was 3.5. We asked if he was a happy kid, and they unanimously agreed he is possibly the happiest kid on the block. We asked if other kids could do all that they mentioned about, we didn't quite get an answer, which we took it as no. That was our pride speaking, of course.  As we left, we jokingly dissed the teacher, the kindergarten system.

Deep down, we left disheartened, were concerned, but rested in assurance that he was happy. That was of utmost importance to us.

BUT.

We decided we HAD TO do something about it.  For the longest time, we didn't quite bother with many things, rightly and wrongly. We have been lazy parents  :p  It was time to correct the things that had somewhat gone off the course, and it was time to address his educational needs.  While we felt that perhaps expectations were high from "local kindergartens", Matt will eventually be part of the Singapore education system which he cannot escape from, not unless we migrate elsewhere.

So we embarked on many projects to help Matt, to get him up to curve.  We tried to keep things as fun as possible.  We wanted him to continue to have a childhood and not be sucked into the regiments of "school" at only 4!

We wrote letters to Santa, we splashed paint.  We started him on Kumon: they cover everything from cutting/pasting, colouring, A-Z, 1-100, mazes, drawing, time, math. The best part about it, Matt loves the series. Maybe it's the predictability of the Kumon method, he actually asks to "study" as he calls it.


Focused on cutting and pasting


Hubby taught him art.  To get him interested, he drew his favourite vehicles, then got him to colour them.



The education bit was the easy one.  Motor and social development, more challenging.

Before, because we were working and he was largely left to the devices of our helper and grandparents, most things were done for him.  He watched TV while having his meals.  He was baby-talked to most of the time.  He was pat-patted to sleep in the afternoons.

Some undesirable traits as a result - He was under-developed in some motor skills.  He didn't speak properly.  Little eye contact.  He was afraid to get his hands dirty.  He was somewhat not as comfortable with sand despite several beach holidays.  He doesn't feed himself.

We took deliberate steps to correct everything.

We allocated time for him to wear his own socks, shoes, clothes.  We budgeted time for him to have longer meals because he wasn't fed.  We cut out even educational DVDs.  We spoke to him.  Made him listen.  Things we were doing already doing but was never quite consistent because when he's not with us or if we were rushing, he gets away.  But now that I am home, there's greater control, which results in a method that kids reportedly thrive on: consistency.  Sure, there were moments when I took short-cuts because there's Lucas, too, but it was certainly not like the times when he was at my in-laws.

A friend got him a kids' blender for Christmas.  I made him cut fruits, get his hands all slimy.  He protested, but he made himself the yummiest smoothie.  I see him cope.  Initially, he kept repeating to himself, "I can wash my hands afterwards".  Now, he wants mess.

We brought him to different playgrounds every day.  Sand play.  Different kids, different dynamics.  He now rolls happily in sand.



In 3-6 months, before he turned 4.5, he was able feed himself and finish his meals fairly quickly without TV, wear his own clothes, button his clothes, wear his socks, look more at people's eyes when he speaks to them, write his A-Z, lower and upper letter cases, count 1-50, read some simple words, tell time up to half-past, draw some, cut, paste. He related to Lucas well.  We even worked in getting him to go diaperless at night, with only 3-4 accidents in the first 2 months, and none thereafter.


All his own effort, except help with spelling

Of course, I wouldn't dare claim that it was all our effort.  A large part of it, we felt, was also because maybe he simply came of age.  Whichever the case, we are mightily proud of his remarkable progress in such a short time.

Folks Growing Old

Sigh.  My folks are really growing old.  Of late, one news of illness after another.  My heart is heavy that I am not with them when what they really need is someone to be with them in times of uncertainty, in times when doctor tells them they are unwell.

At the moment, I am with poor pa in the hospital in KL.  I think much as he says I needn't have come, so troublesome, I should look after the kids, I can see in his eyes that he is happy I am around, relieved even.

And I guess a daughter's care is never the same as a son's.  It is just how we are wired.  That's why mothers are generally perceived the best care givers.

Lucas Again

He continues to amaze me with his physical development.

Upward mobility at 7.5 months

In really a blink of an eye, my little Lucas is not very little anymore.  He will be 9 months in a few days' time.  To be honest, I don't get to spend much time with him, or maybe I feel more so lately because school's out for Matt.  It's a joy to be with Lucas.  Indeed, he lives up to his name: a bringer of light.  Whenever he smiles, his eyes smile with him.

He loves loves loves going out.  Happy as a bird, cooing, laughing, babbling, all the way out, all the way home.  Here my recent 2 favourite pictures of him:

 

We found his most ticklish point!  I heart this video!

Lucas Vs. Matthew

The thing with having a no. 2 is that there's an idea what to expect and there's, well, a no. 1 to compare notes against.

Not that I am a big fan milestone, remembering exactly when Matthew did what when, but I have a general sense of when things happened. But precisely because Lucas is so ahead in most areas, I can't help but note how differently, and quickly, he has developed compared to his brother:

 

Lucas first showed first signs of crawling in his 5th month, followed shortly by his very cute bunny-hopping, and he nailed crawling proper within the same month.

He then pulled himself up and stood strong, also in his 5th month.
 

Even his first teeth were out towards the end of his 4th month!

By and large, Lucas was generally more alert and his awareness of his surroundings also came through earlier. Maybe it is a personality trait: Matt has a more tidak apa la di da di da attitude so anyone could carry him till he was about one year of age, but not my little Lucas.  He wailed when carried by strangers as early as 3 months.  Whenever we visited my in-laws in his early days, he would squint his eyes and study the different environment he was in.  Needless to say what happens during his excursions out of the house, whether to the park or the church.

Maybe it was because Matt was our first kid, and he had our undivided attention and care, and we watched him ferociously, watching his every move, and molly-coddled him every step of the way.  We minimized changes to his routine.  We hardly brought him out in his first year, keeping him at home partly because we were both working then, but also partly because we focused on building up his immunity by not exposing him to the world while he was little.  But for the times we did bring him out, I do not recall Matt because as curious as Lucas now. Character-wise, they are very different.  Matt was (still is) a cool kid: very good-natured, loves peace, non-confrontational.  Lucas, well, he is one fiesty kid.  He would fight with us and his kor kor for everything.  In more than one occasion, he literally snatched the iPad from Matt.  Poor Matt would just look at us helplessly.  Lucas cries for everything, whenever he doesn't get his way, or is plonked into the playpen to be by himself.  Maybe Matt had everything his way in his time, so we never quite saw this cry-baby trait in Matt when he was little like Lucas.

Matt looking perplexed at why his cousin was crying to hysterically

But one thing for sure, I have two happy boys.  They have smiles that make me feel nothing else matters.

Matthew, 2+ months

Lucas, 6+ months

Mobility!

Ok, another quick blog before I lose my chance to catch that 40 winks!

He is only 5 months old, but Lucas looks like he is about to crawl. He is growing up way too quickly!

I heart his ass swinging like that! :-)

A Quiet Afternoon

Hubs just got back from Dubai this morning. I can hear him snoring away as I type.

Matt woke up really early this morning: he is somewhat knackered after his swim and *trying* to take a nap with his dad.

Beside me, Lucas is napping on the tilam.

A rare moment of peace and quiet in the afternoon for me ever since Matt dropped his nap since late last year.

I should be taking a nap, too, but it just seems too good to pass out on an opportunity to do shite and surf mindlessly. I am so tired I can't even quite think beyond what to prepare for dinner tonight. There's so much I want to blog about, but my mind is drawing a blank.

Maybe I should go snooze, just for that little while.

Wardrobe

This must be the worst ever state my wardrobe has ever been in.

Before we conceived Lucas, I stopped myself from buying clothes. During pregnancy, thinking that this might possibly be the last time I get pregnant, I didn't buy much except for one or two more basic pieces which I needed when I realized the elastics of the old ones have gone down the drain.

Post-delivery, I survive on 2 dresses. For home (when I need to be a little more presentable like when we have guest), AND for going out. Most days, I am in my pjs from day to night. For I can't yet fit into my old tees and shorts without looking like a bak zhang, and I am sort of swimming in my maternity wear.

The weight from this second pregnancy is proving to be rather stubborn despite me breast-feeding. I remember I have lost 90% of my weight gain with Matt by the 3rd month, but I step out these days and people congratulate me and ask me how many months along am I. For that, I try to always have my bulging tummy's raison d'etre with me - little darling Lucas.

Sigh.

Back to clothing. Last week, feeling miserable from fatigue and hormonal imbalance, I stood in front of my wardrobe and I broke down in tears. So I decided I had to go shopping even though on hindsight, it wasn't the lack of clothes that made me cry. But what the heck, any reason to get out and break away from the monotony of life caring for a newborn and a toddler. Fortunately (I say fortunately because if I failed, I believe I would have been even more miserable), I managed to find 2 dresses from Mothers En Vogue. They have great dresses which I love.

So now I have 4 dresses. 2 old ones, and 2 new ones. Not too bad at all.

Matthew & his Lego

This was the set that started it all. We got it for him when he was about 3.5 years old.

Sure, he was exposed to the Mega Blocks and Lego Duplo when he was younger, but this one was different. This was his first set that came with instructions on how to build the structures. And he was hooked.

He would sit there, patiently turn the instruction booklet page by page and build these structures. He would take them apart and build them over and again. All by himself, with an occasional look at me for approval that he was doing it right. I later learnt that his ability is a feat because he was only 3.5 and sets like these were meant for children 7-12.

I didn't think much about what he was doing, and since he liked it, we fed him set after set. Much better than action figurines.

Then one day, we lost a couple of these little bricks.

Now, if you have dealt this these lego sets, you would think people working in Lego are mad. Their attention to detail is amazingly terrifying if you asked me. For eg., they have these little lights that are 0.5cm, and you painstakingly build them but in the end, it might not even be visible because it is inside the structure.

When my little boy came to me upset that he couldn't find a 1cm blue rectangle or a 0.5cm round red brick, it first annoyed me because he bugged me endlessly to help him find it. Then, it got me really worried. Really really worried.

Because not only was he upset that the bricks were missing, but he had memorized where these bricks were meant to be! He did not need to consult the instruction booklet to know that the piece was indeed to be there. I will come back to this issue in another blog, but for now, this is Matt's love in the toy department.

Legos. Lego City and Lego Creator in particular.

He has 9-1o sets thanks to his birthday and Christmas gifts, with the fire engine being his ultimate favourite. We contributed 3 sets in our moments of parental weakness of wanting to witness the ecstatic look on his face receiving them. Very skewed vehicles collection at the moment, because the sets on city buidlings are mightily pricey. But I am sure he will get there.

Some of his lego vehicles

Lucas at 4 months old

Maybe start with the most recent.

Lucas, despite our assistance in helping him flip over by lifting his Shakira hips, has not shown much interest unless WE placed him directly onto his tummy. Yesterday, he decided he would entertain and delight us. Here's him doing his first flip all on his own.



He is one fiesty baby. He YELLS whether in good or bad mood. Which is really irritating.

He adores his big brother. If he is in deep slumber, he would wake up if his brother so speaks. A friend mentioned that it was true with her daughter as well. Apparently it is because he heard Matthew's voice most clearly in my pregnancy cos Matthew's height is round about my belly. Whatever the explanation, he tracks his brother's every move if the latter is in his line of vision, and searches for him when he hears his voice. And smiles.

Oh, and he has a smile that lets him get away with murder.

He was one guzzler for 2.5 months, then he decided he would go ona nursing strike. Still at it, since around Christmas. He can go up to 7 hours without any milk intake. He would no longer engage in any direct feeding, and I really miss that. So I pump through the day, not fun at all! Despite the strike, he weighs a hefty 8.2kg at the last check-up few days ago where he received his first dose of vaccination. A small yelp, somewhat a delayed reaction AFTER the needle came out, but a brave boy nonetheless, just like little Matt.

Lucas is a very curious baby. He looks around and observes his surroundings a lot earlier than Matthew did, for all that I can recall. He observes people, photos, paintings, sofa, my bedroom, Matt kor-kor at play, the skies, the trees, the car. He has never fallen asleep at the church despite it being his nap time because he was often surveying other children or perking up whenever we sing.

Lucas at 3 months 1 week and 3.5 months

I am enjoying my time with Lucas a lot, and yes, I will say it again, they just grow up too fast!

Too Much on Plate

Lots have been happening: I feel like a headless chicken running in all directions. Blogging has taken a back seat. Time to resume.

I Believe in Santa!

Preparing supper

Milk for Santa, carrot for Rudolph

Santa is thirsty

The milk and carrot are gone, mama! Look, son, they left something behind!!

I just love the smile on his face!

Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!