Separation Anxiety

Matt has exhibited, to put it nicely, "strong emotional attachment" to me for a long while now, and this clingy-ness went into over-drive twice - once after my Japan ski trip, and the other, after my NYC shopping spree. I came back to a little boy who wouldn't let his mommy out of sight - in case she'd disappear for days on end again! It did take some effort and time to abate the separation anxiety.

Recently, I have been around him a lot, spending loads of quality time. It has, however, the same effect as when I was away, perhaps even more intense. While it used to be easy handing him over to my in-laws before I left for work, it is proving quite difficult to pry the koala cling apart these days. In addition, in-laws and helper said that he has been pining for me when I am away at work, or whenever I am out. Last Thursday, it seemed that he cried for me until he vomited.

I just got home, and helper told me he was rather cranky today, too, crying for me throughout the day, peaking just before he fell asleep that she thought she needed to call me to get me home :(

Feel so guilty.

Am I a horrible mother? One who is not there for her little boy when he needed her?