Sell Newspaper

This is a father-son activity that hubs is very proud of.

Every few weeks on a Sat or Sun, dear daddy would listen out for the newspaper man sounding his horn and driving his karang guni lorry. He would excitedly shout for him as he passes by our house, and father-son wait on as uncle weighs the newspapers.


The little one patiently waits for uncle to give him money ...


.... so he can insert the coins into his piggy bank and hear the "oink oink" as they go through the coin slot. Sometimes, he gets dollars. Those go in through the piggy's nostrils.

Smiley

For a while now, whenever I carried Matt, he would lean back and look me in my face, and give me a big smile. When I smile back, he would chuckle and hug me tight and give me a hard squeeze.

Sometimes, he'd look up from whatever he is doing, and just smile at me. Just like that.

I love it, too, when he sits on my lap and I read something he likes, he'd turn 180 around to give me a warm smile.

When I drive to my in-laws to pick him up after work, I would creep up quietly into the house, and find him usually playing with his toys. "Baby!" He would look up, and a big grin would appear spontaneously on his face before he makes a dash towards me and jumps into my embrace.

Aye. It's wonderful.

Puh-Leeezzzz

.. let me have a good helper this time round.

So, it's good riddance very soon to the lazy helper-who-sat-with-Matt-for-45-mins-while-I-cooked-dinner-(for her, too)-and-did-not-realise-he-pooed-even-when-it-stank-so-bad.

The-helper-who-told-a-friend's-helper-that-she-has-no-food-when-she-has-put-on-weight-since-coming-to-our-household-one-month-ago.

It's a joke to say my house has no food. I almost died laughing when I heard this.

Anyways. By-gones.

Please let the next one work out.

Terrible Twos II

It seems that the terrible twos phase has gained grounds since I last talked about it.

"Dowan!" rules the day - dowan yeye house, dowan home, dowan shower, dowan sleep, dowan papa, dowan aunty, dowan rice, dowan whatever i-don't-fancy, dowan whatever-mama-wants.

This behaviour gets even more pronounced whenever I am around. No one can carry him, change his diaper, bring him to wee wee, put him to bed. No one can touch him. Period. Which, of course, are behaviours which we want to discourage. So, of late, we have countless episodes of hubs tearing him away from me, make him face the wall, him crying on and on, and me pacing nearby, dying to hug and comfort him but cannot!

He can really cry, goes on and on and refuses to apologize. He gets off when he is ready to say he is sorry. The moment he says it, he makes a dash for me.

Sometimes, I take a step back and wonder - surely he is not keen on protesting and making decisions that he knows will render mommy and daddy angry, and which will inevitably lead him to face-the-wall? I tend to be less harsh on him when I am sane enough to think like this. Most of the time, I am not as sane, not in the face of this little 2-year old tyke who goes on a serious meltdown when he doesn't get his way. But I am a softie, so facing the wall has, fortunately for me, been more of a hubs thing, much to his chagrin :p

I guess Matt is learning to make his own choices and asserting his independence, a phase of development that he (and I) must go through. I just wish that it didn't have to always involve him disagreeing with us in order for him to make that choice. Bedtime now .. Dowan sleep! We're going to a party. Dowan party, go airport!

*Deep breaths! It's a development phase!*

I've Come This Far

This month heralds many moments of significance.

My blog is one-year old!

I never thought I'd be able to sustain for long writing a blog. I wonder who reads my blog. I know hubs is a faithful follower.

I've come to enjoy it as a great way for me to rant, and to pen down significant happenings, particularly related to the little one. Hopefully, it will allow me to re-read and still bring myself to hug Matt some time further down the road when he does things that make me royally pissed off.

My driving license is "active" for a year!

I became more kiasi as I grew older. I remember being somewhat a daredevil when I first obtained my license in my late teens, in fact, even before I got my license. I drove dear daddy's prized car around the estate and had no fear! But more than a decade along, I have only fear when we could finally afford our own car. What more with a baby in tow, I became even more chicken shit . But under the No Choice Act, I took to the wheels this month last year, and am now proud and happy to say that I am glad I can go places with Matt without needing to rely on hubs or my FIL or the uncles-of-largely-blue-sometimes-yellow-or-red-cars anymore. It's totally liberating!

Survived a year being a part-time employee, and an over-time-under-paid SAHM

I still think that part-time work arrangement works out best for me, although of recent, I have been thinking about how this job has almost zero prospect and self-development potential. I wonder if I should return to the workforce full-time, since the banks are, apparently, hiring agressively. Plus Matt should be school-going in the next half year or so.

I think and I think and I think.

Well, thinking is one thing, the inertia to return to work full-time is seriously serious. Lets see what happens this year ...

Bringing Meaning to CNY: Visiting the Less Fortunate; Respecting the Elderly

It was Day 8 of CNY, and some colleagues in hub's office organised a party for the Adventist Home for the Elders. I was not exactly keen on going, having to deal with the maid, still thinking about my lost iPhone, and still feeling bad from causing Matt's vomiting the night before. But I wanted to get out of my self-pity mood, although I thought seeing the less fortunate might make me brood even more.

And I wondered if Matt might make the old folks feel even worse, I mean, they might think of their own sad plight, how they have no close family members to celebrate with them.

I packed and went anyway. And I am so glad we did.

The set-up was simple, chairs arranged in a big circle in a void deck. When we arrived, they were having a lo hei.

Matt said xin nian kuai le to hub's colleagues, then found more happiness running about outside the party. I was busy watching over him, then hubs came out with the most brilliant idea to involve Matt - make him bring plates of food and serve the elderly.



Each time that he served, he illicited a warm smile.

And it warmed our hearts that our little kiddo managed to bring a smile to a few old folks in the way that only he can.

CNY wasn't Happening

Reunion dinner was really fine, first day celebrations were great. Trip home to M'sia was really good.

It went downhill from there.

We only managed to stay in M'sia for one full day. Which is s.h.o.r.t by my standards. But hubs has got a lot at work, so we had to do what we had to do - leave. I cried when I left - unbelievable - given how long I have been away, and how old I am now. But I really miss my parents and everyone back in M'sia.

Then the next day, my iPhone was stolen! The one I received for Christmas from dear hubs. I was shopping at Mothercare, placed the phone absent-mindedly on the shelf while I examined underwear for Matt, realised I forgot it after I paid for my goods, rushed back and it was gone! 10 minutes! When we called using my hub's phone and it was turned off, my heart just sank.

Then on Saturday, we brought Matt out for dinner at a Japanese restaurant and we ordered gyu-don for him. He started off well, but as we went along our dinner, he seemed uncomfortable, but being the little soldier that he is, he still smiled and giggled. All seemed well.

Until we were in the car. Matt vomited his entire dinner out.

The culprit? Eggs. In particular, egg white.

This is the third time he has vomited after consuming eggs since he started solids. The first 2 times, I was not 100% sure - maybe there were other factors. But the dinner that night affirmed it. There were no other possible reasons.

At home, I gave Matt some cornflakes. He ate it happily. I sorted out the mess in the car.

Just before bedtime, Matt asked for milk, but I wasn't sure if I should give him. But the poor little hungry boy chanted "milk" repeatedly, so I did. And within minutes, he threw up again. I should've heeded my instincts!! Urgh! Poor boy!

He finally went to bed after more cornflakes, some cheerios and water.

Felt so so so bad that night.

The thing is, I kept having these disturbing feeling while I was feeding him, but largely ignored it.

Mother's instincts are amazing, and I sometimes wonder why I do not heed those nagging feelings more often.

They say that Hope looks up. So I am hoping for a better end to CNY, and a far better year ahead after a somewhat sucky start!

Oversized Shades ...

... are DEFINITELY in!!

Chinese New Year

I was kinda looking forward to Chinese New Year in January. Christmas was about thanksgiving. Chinese New Year is about renewal. And some serious cleaning. For weeks now, whenever I had some time, I spring-cleaned.

When we moved into our current home 2 years ago, I was 8 months pregnant with Matt, hence, never did any meaningful unpacking. Hubs, being a man, unpacked "as is." Everything went into the cupboards. Unorganized trash. Out of sight, out of mind. I occasionally thought about it, but did not have the luxury of time or energy to deal with them. Until last month. We did some minor reno at home for the much needed storage, and it was great opportunity to chuck, chuck, and chuck!

I also managed some time to buy meself, hubs and Matt some new clothes. My mother-in-law bought me a pomelo and nian gao. She ordered some famous bak gwa. I bought some goodies here and there. I changed new notes to pack ang pow. It seems we are quite set for a good Chinese New Year.

Until last Sunday. My new helper completely dampened my mood. After weeks of training, I was happy that she was improving. Matt was 50% warming up to her. Then, she promptly announced "I give up, ma'am. I want to go back Philippines." What the f#*&!! She said she misses her kids. She said things are easier back home. She said she "cannot care Matthew." Perhaps I have been overly fierce and stern with her? So I tried to talk to her, even apologized for those moments of anger. But the more I talked, the more inconsistent her reasons became.

My agent and I grilled her, and finally came to the conclusion - she is lazy. Missing her kids was an excuse. Although I am certain she does miss them. We concluded so because she didn't mind being transfered to another family without young children, and not any other types of family.

To cut the long story short, I decided to let her transfer (hubs thinks I am too nice to even let her transfer) and I will look for new helper. But the thought of choosing another one, to wake up at 530 to train her daily, to get Matt to get used to a new helper - SUPER SIAN aaahh!

Having said that, once I decided on the course of action, I was sort of happier. The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. 2 days from Chinese New Year, I am slowly trying to get into the mood again. A piece of bak gwa may just do the trick.

Little Things 4

He loves his bedtime milk. One day, while he was busy playing, we put Bob the Builder where he usually drinks his milk, and Bob hugs his milk bottle. We playfully said "Look Matt, Bob is drinking milk!" He looks up, look so pained I felt so bad! He just sat there, on the verge of bursting. BUT he did not snatch it back from Bob, or throw or hit Bob. Almost in tears that Bob took his favourite milk, he looked at me pleadingly to help him. Awwww! My little boy is such a sweet angel!

Still, he'd hug his Bob. Bob is the only soft toy he'd hug. Not Stitch. Not the gorilla.

He wakes up sleepy every morning. He blinks and blinks. I pull open the curtain slowly to let the sunlight stream in. Irritated, he commands "mama off the light"

"Du wan sleep!" He always puts up some form of protest when it's nap time or bed time. He has taken this to another level lately. He buys time, by pooping just before nap time. He forces with all his might so he gets to escape his bedroom to the bathroom. At night, with no poo, he will say "I pan-sai" then grins.

Whenever he hurts himself, whether a gentle hit or a major fall, it's always "mama put lotion!"

Matt loves spinning round and round and round. Then he staggers from the dizziness, walks sideways, and chuckles hard to himself. When he falls down from all that dizziness, he laughs even harder!

He likes playing ring around the rosies but when it's time to fall, he just stands there, watches everyone fall to the floor, then he laughs and runs away.

Matt can't pronounce his 'l' yet.

"Matt, say hallelujah!"

"Ha-ye-yu-yah!" then a big smile. I just wanna pinch his cheeks when he says that!

I Look Aged

Yesterday, I entertained a certain Mr M, who demonstrated a kick-ass almost $4k vacuum cleaner.

Some small talk, then he was cleaning my mattress.

I saw him looking at our wedding portraits on the wall, then at me. Then at the wedding portraits again.

Mr M: Wah! Your son only 2 ahr? How long ago were you married?
Me: 4 years ago I think. WHY?
M: I mean, how old were you when you were married? (maybe sensing the sales going down the drain after that indirect criticism)
Me: Late 20s. Yeah, I have aged since ... maybe you want to tell me more about your (stupid) machine?

So. I got my and Matt's mattresses cleaned for free. But I did not buy the machine.

Not because I was insulted.

Okay, I was insulted.

But I didn't buy it because it was almost $4k. For a vacuum cleaner. I could live with some germs. But that is not the point of this blog.

But it got me thinking about how I look.

After he left, I stared at my reflection in the mirror for quite some time. That bad meh? No what. I thought to myself. Maybe I should do some facial since Matt is not awake yet.

Oh, but there's some spring cleaning to be done before he wakes. I'll do facial tonight.

But I think I did not even put moisturizer before I slept last night when I crashed after putting Matt to bed.

Sigh.

My skin has aged. I've aged.

Fren Fries

Hmmmm ... this thing is YUMMY! (For the records, the fries at PS Cafe has some truffle oil on them, very yummy indeed!)

The Airport

We like bringing Matt to the airport. It is at the airport that he can see almost all modes of public transportation. Without fail, he will take the inter-terminal shuttle train, look at plane take off and land, see the many tour and mini buses outside the terminals, and the taxis queueing for passengers.

For me, it is a great place for him to run amok. And many a times, it means we are there to welcome home the man of our household, all tired from business trip, but elated to be home with his family. The most recent trip was even more meaningful because I have taught Matt to run up to papa and give him a big hug and a big kiss!

happy on the shuttle train; tired from all that running; hooded up and playing with mama's cards while waiting for papa

I Wanna Be Everywhere Mama Is

Even if it means I sit outside the bathroom waiting for her to finish her shower

Sleep Graduation In Progress

Last two nights, I decided to 'sleep train' Matt. Nothing too drastic. I don't think I can deal with cry-it-out method, not even when he is older now. What's more he is older now!

Matt usually falls asleep to me pat-patting him on the sofa in his room, then gets transferred, deep in sleep, to his cot.

First night, I plonked him into his cot directly and pat-patted him there. He protested, but he didn't fight too much since I was doing the usual patting. And he fell asleep soon enough.

Last night, I did the same, but no pat-patting this time round. I laid down to sleep on the sofa and told him mama's here repeatedly each time he made a big fuss and pretended to wail. Some bursts of violent protest, but nothing that melted the weak steel in my heart. I heard a lot of shuffling all about the cot. Sleep sleep, baby, mama's here. Sleep sleep.

And he did.

I don't know when or how. Cause I fell asleep first.

I was SO tired.

Lets see how it goes tonight.

Help(er) Me!

I have been very busy. And tired.

Old helper left. New helper in. I should re-phrase. New want-to-help-er. She's not quite at the level to be able to help me efficiently and effectively. Needs some SERIOUS training. Kinda forgetful. First ONLY words were yes ma'am and no ma'am.

A conversation about brocolli which she has not seen before.

Ok, what is this called again?
Yes ma'am
No, Maria, what is the name of this vegetable?
No ma'am

I shake my head in disbelief. She looks lost.

The worst bit? Matt doesn't take well to her.

Yet.

I hope.

So I have been doing almost everything for Matt, over and above training her. I only have one window of opprtunity - when Matt is taking his afternoon nap. Provided I am not working in the office.

One week has passed, and I'd like to believe she has somewhat moved up the curve. One inch.

Out of a 100-inch curve.

I urged her to speak up more, not mumble, to open up, to ask. I showed her what are Matthew's favourite toys, asked her to tell Matthew what she is doing, to give instructions to him instead of 'just doing.' She is not confident of her English, so she is not generous with her words, very unlike my previous helper.

BUT. She seems a very honest person, and is appreciative for all the good things. She is rather pleasant-looking, more so when not stressed. And I can see her genuinely trying her best.

In the time being, hubs and I have concluded that we need to chip in and help her do some housework until she slowly moves further along the curve. Beats reprimanding her when she forgets to do something we taught her. Helps me maintain some sanity.

Hubs has been most helpful; he went wet-marketing and brought Matt out all by himself, the former, he absolutely hates. When I am tired, he takes over where he can and even trains the helper. Don't think I can manage without him.

Sometimes, we have a good laugh about conversations like the one about the brocolli, and then we are ready to face her again.

We have a good feel about her nonetheless, and are confident that she will slowly be the helper we need her to be.

A Happy Family

Matt ran to me one day when I got home in the evening, threw himself into my arms and sang: I yove you, you yove me, we ah happi fa-mi-i.

So that purple creature Barney did teach you something.

Yes, we are happy family :)

I Can Do It By Meself

Yesterday marked a little milestone in Matt's quest towards independence - he took off his own sandals.